Controversy
All right. Let’s get this straight. Vaccines work. I am so tired of this crap about the flu shot and vaccines.
Smallpox was eradicated because of the vaccine. I dare you to look anybody in the face and tell them that the world was better with smallpox outbreaks.
Polio has not been eradicated because there are populations that still believe that vaccines cause impotence. In many villages in India, children are hidden when the World Health Organization comes around for free vaccinations. Later, when a child is diagnosed with polio in that village, the WHO must again dispatch teams to these remote villages at great cost. They travel on scooters over rough roads for hours gripping onto an ice box containing vaccines. They knock on every door, trying to vaccinate every child. The kids they don’t reach — they’re paralyzed.
It seems that in the States, the most prevalent reason not to vaccinate is the fabled causation of autism.
“My parents didn’t have this wealth of knowledge. I can make more educated decisions [even though I was vaccinated and I am fine].” Dr. Google now provides access to the words of supposed “professionals” who are in reality completely unqualified to make such claims. If these mass hysterics were to read actual science journals, the kind you pay for [!!!] on PubMed, they would find that science has found no plausible connection between vaccines and autism. You know, if they were qualified enough to understand the papers. Your internet friend is not a qualified source.
“There are more children today with autism than ever before.” This can be explained by the broadening definitions of autism. High-functioning autists and those with certain autism spectrum disorders weren’t included before. There are more advanced tests to detect autism at a younger age which leads parents to believe that the autism was a result of a recent vaccination.
“Children can’t take the levels of mercury in the preservative!” Have you fed him fish lately? Because you might as well be force-feeding him autism. Also, do you believe in antibiotics? Because you shouldn’t if you don’t believe in vaccines. Would you treat your child with a tetanus shot if he stepped on a rusty nail?
“It’s a government conspiracy!” …Have you not seen diseases eradicated because of vaccines? Measles? Smallpox? Do you deny the existence of those historical events? [By the way, do you know the miracle that was the birth of the smallpox vaccine? Benjamin Jesty and Edward Jenner -- geniuses. Can you tell that the virologist in me is squealing and jumping up and down?]
And lastly, the closing argument when they can’t defend themselves any longer — the defiance tactic:
“But I won’t take that risk with my child.” *head desk* *head desk* *HEAD DESK* *HEADDESKHEADDESKHEADDESK* “Maternal instinct” does not override science.
There exists a need for herd immunity. Herd immunity is the proven theory that in order to maintain the eradication of a certain disease, a certain percentage of the population must be vaccinated. Therefore, every parent thinking that their child is special is bringing the general population one step closer to the resurgence of polio, rubella, mumps, smallpox. Brian and I have seen parents who expect other children to be vaccinated — but not theirs. My, what consideration you have.
We agree that people should have the choice to vaccinate or not, but that those who decline should be quarantined in a separate location in [or outside of] the United States. No community parks for their kids. Let the diseases rage amongst themselves.
You can’t cure stupid. But you can kill it. [Oooops, did I say that out loud?]
Loooove youuuuuu. 05 [A play]
Scene: I’m waiting for Brian outside of Valentine’s [our local Mexican eatery] with Sachi. [For reference, we live on the west edge of East Village.]
Interaction 1:
Man1: [leery, red-faced, reeking of booze]
Hey, are you Japanese?
m: Er. Yes.
Man1: I just talked to your husband in there. He told me.
m: Oh.
Man1: I think Japanese women are gorgeous.
m: …
Thank.. You..?
Man1: Konnichiwa! Sayonara!
["Hello! Good-bye!", walks away]
Interaction 2:
Man2: [A mid-sixties-ish man with a comb-over giving off an uncomfortable vibe]
Oh, your dog is ADORABLE. What is she?
m: Uh. A mutt. An Eskimo mix.
Man2: Well, she’s beautiful. Have a great night!
[turns around]
m: [thinking, "Oh, God, please go away, go away, go away. Why are you turning around?"]
[frantic, trying to make eye-contact with Brian who's casually filling salsa cups]
Man2: You know, I almost never come to East Village, I live a quarter mile that way [points farther west].
But today my coworker dropped me off over here and I’m walking home.
m: Ah.
Man2: This is a great part of downtown with the neat little restaurants.
I should come here more often.
m: [thinking "Oh, God, please don't, please don't, please don't."]
Mmhmm.
Man2: [walks away]
[Brian comes out]
m: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG??
b: What? What’s wrong?
m: You have no idea what smarm I just endured. Didn’t you see the creepy old men talking to me?!
b: No.
m: *whimper*
[fills him in on the conversation 1]
b: What?! I didn’t talk to anybody about you being Japanese or my wife.
m: Yeah, I knew that. Which made it CREEPIER.
m: [fills him in one conversation 2]
b: He lives that way?
Maybe he lives at..
[raises eyebrow]
The Peach Tree Inn*.
m: [punches Brian as hard as possible with the fist with a ring on it on the bicep where he received his flu shot]
b: OW! OWW!
[but keeps on laughing hysterically]
*sad face* :(
*The Peach Tree Inn is a nearby apartment unit. They rooms are tiny, furnished, and they charge about $450/ month which makes it a hot spot for ex-cons. There are 15 sex offenders at that single location. It is a limitless source of inapproriate humor. [By the way, did you know that zipcode 92101 has 159 registered sex offenders? Jesus.]
