As a woman who has known from a very early age that she didn’t ever want children, I’ve gotten used to hearing “Oh, you’re still young, you’ll change your mind” from most people. I don’t find it nearly as annoying as I used to because I don’t care anymore when inconsequential people are wrong.

That said, when it comes from a primary care physician who has just met me for the first time, I think it’s quite an inappropriate response. What I’m saying has consequences for my healthcare and reproductive choices and it is absolutely irresponsible for a physician in charge of my overall care to be so dismissive about a decision I’ve made about my life. When a nearly-32-year-old says, “I don’t want to have children,” perhaps physicians should take that a little more seriously. It’s precisely this holier-than-thou attitude that a patient couldn’t possibly know what she wants for herself that limits viable contraceptive options for women.

I left the office feeling icky about the whole situation, so after I sat with it for a bit and wrote most of this post, I sent her a message asking her to reconsider her attitude and reflect on her immediate need to tell me that I might be wrong about my life choices. I hope she will, but it’s time to let this go now.

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